Locked Doors
by Hibiko Caprali
Summary: Changed..again. When signs of love and insanity are getting a little bit obvious between Ryou and Bakura, the others decide to do something about it..if nobody gets run over by Bastardly Bob, that is. Shonenai, yaoi: BxR, other pairings.
1. You AREN'T dyslexic!

Hi there, Hibiko here, and…uh…whatever. On with the fic, as I'm too lazy to think anything up to put here. –shoves disclaimer sign into the ground and runs off-

Disclaimer: Once I owned YGO. But then some dude stole it. So now I don't.

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Chapter 1

"Ryou? Ryou? AH! Where are you?"

Ryou ran downstairs, his hairbrush clinging to his hair, to find out what was wrong. He know only one voice that sounded like that, and that person was a little paranoid with a tendency for trouble. Bakura was running around the kitchen like a chicken with it's head cut off and screaming for all he was worth. Which wasn't very much; after all, he did have a very strange profession: thievery. The cause of this strange display: somehow, Bakura had gotten the whips of an eggbeater stuck in his hair, and it was whirring and rolling up Bakura's hair.

"Possessed it's! Trying to it's eat hair I! AARGH!" Bakura screamed. Ryou sighed and went over to him, turning off the eggbeater and, with effort, pulling it from his yami's hair. He tossed it on the counter and put his hands on his hips. "For the last time Bakura, you are NOT dyslexic!"

"Not am I? Really? COOL!" Bakura shouted. He began jumping up and down and shouted, "I'm gonna call everyone and tell them I ain't dyslexic no more! Joey—ew, no—Kaiba—oh, no I'm not—Yami—dang, I hate that guy—Yugi—GAWD no—Tristan—naw, he's a freak—Tea—not on my LIFE! Or my other ones—Mokuba—I hate that kid—Marik—yes, I can call him—Malik--…yeah, I'll call him too! Yay!" Bakura ran off into the living room, tripping over the couch and the coffee table as he reached for the phone. He picked it up and looked at it for a second. "Ryou, what's Marik's number?"

"Five-five-five, five-five-five-three," Ryou answered, brushing his hair. Bakura nodded and punched the buttons, missing practically every time because he was punching them so hard. Finally he settled for poking the buttons—really really hard—and eventually got Marik's phone number right. He held it to his ear and Ryou smiled in approval. It had taken fourteen tries of Bakura putting the phone on his head to get that right, and each time it hadn't worked Bakura had set the phone on fire or sent it to the shadow realm.

"Ishtar residence, Malik speaking," Malik's voice said.

"HI MALIK! Where's Marik?" Bakura yelled. Malik told Bakura to hold on for a second. Crashing noises and screams filtered in the background over Malik's voice shouting, "Sister! Stop the canary from eating Marik, please! He needs to get the phone! Oh, here he is. Never mind! Ah! No! Bad canary! Get off my leg!" The phone dropped and Marik picked it up.

"Hellooooooo?" He said in a sing-song voice.

"Marik! Hello, my psychopathic chaos-loving psychotic freak of a friend! Guess what?" Bakura asked excitedly.

"Uh..you got your head stuck in the drain again? Or you're turning blue Oh my gawd—did Ryou forget to tell you how to use the sink?" Marik asked in panic.l Bakura smiled, hopping up and down.

"Noo! I'm Not dyslexic no mores! I'm having a party! And," Bakura lowered his voice, continuing, "I didn't ask Ryou!"

"Like, how could you?" Marik asked in horror. "I ask Malik to do _everything_—cough—not really—cough-hack—and stuff!"

"Yeah, well," said Bakura, feeling really superior. "Uh..bring your friends and food and stuff, and be here eventually! HAHAHAHA!"

"HAHAHA—right—HAHAHA!" Marik said back, and the two hung up their phones. Rather, Marik threw his across the room and Bakura set the phone on fire.

"Bakura! Did you set the phone on fire again?" Ryou's accusing voice came form the kitchen. Bakura went blank, but threw the phone out of the window where it caught the rose bushes on fire.

"No!" Bakura said innocently. Ryou looked at him.

"Well, breakfast's done so if you want you can eat something. I'm going to take a nap." Ryou yawned and went upstairs. Bakura was tiring, Ryou'd give him that—but not much else. Besides stupid and sometimes really weird. But Ryou shrugged that off and locked the door behind him. He fell over onto the floor and fell asleep. Bakura heard the thump and yelled, "I _know_ you're not making a mess up there!" Ryou snored, rather loudly, and Bakura glared at the ceiling before zipping to the window and gluing himself to it.

"Darn window! Let me goooo…" Bakura said angrily, pulling himself from the glue all over the window. He pressed his face to it again after the glue was off, staring for Marik. Then Bakura saw Marik and Malik coming down the sidealk and rushe dout to greet them. Rather, attempt to attack them..

"How have you BEEN!" Bakura squealed. He bowled over Malik, and Marik jumped on top.

"Didn't you just talk to me like, five minutes ago?" Malik wheezed. He rolled out from underneath the pile.

"Yeah but you took AGES to get here!" Bakura said, exaggerating a little bit. Malik sighed and Marik grinned.

"I know, hikari was all like 'you destroyed it!' and I was like 'destroyed what' and he was like 'my favorite shirt!' and so we had to search his closet for a new shirt and yeah now he looks weird and stuff." Marik said, pointing at Malik, who looked a little bit disgruntled in the lavender tank top. "It looks like it might have been Ishizu's," Bakura whispered to Marik, who sniggered. Somewhere down the road Ishizu flung open her window, poked her head out and shouted, "I heard that!" Bakura looked scared and immediately shoved the two into the house. Moments later the door bell rang.

"HII—oh wait..you're, uh..uh..that guy with no personality! (1)" Bakura shouted. Tristan frowned.

"I'm like, Tristan dude. Remember?" Tristan asked, dropping a can of hair gell onto his spike. Bakura leaned against the door frame, frowning.

"Uh..NO! Bye!" Bakura slammed the door shut and opened it again when someone knocked.

"Hi! Oh, you're…Joey!" Bakura nodded at the blonde guy in the driveway. "Uhh..is Ryou okay with you?"

"Yeah, whys do ya wanna know?" Joey asked.

"Nothing. Come in, I guess. And what's with the accent? Are you like, from New York? Do we live in America or japan? Where the heck are we?" Bakura screamed, running outside on onto the roof. Marik joined him soon afterwards and the two commenced jumping off of the roof and on top of cars to scare people. Bakura accidentally fell off and onto Yugi when he rang the doorbell. Yugi started to cry buckets of tears.

"Okay, aibou! Enough!" Yami yelled when he could carry no more buckets of water. "These things are heavy you know." Yugi nodded, "Okay, sorry."

"I didn't call you!…Did I?" Bakura wondered. But he opened the door, growling, "Darn you, pharaoh, and your trickish ways." Marik fell off of the roof and onto Bakura.

"Owichie," Marik said, rubbing his head. "It like, burns. And It like, freezes," he said, imitating Yugi.

"How does something burn and freeze at the same time?" Bakura asked. Marik scratched his sandy blonde head.

"Freezer burn?" he suggested after a while. Bakura took this for an adequate answer and the two went insane—I mean, inside—again.

**_Six hours later_**

"Ryou! Where are you?" Bakura shouted, creeping throughout the dark house. By now everyone had gone home, seeing as it was about..ten at night. Marik was probably still around somewhere, though, and the only person he was _sure_ had gone home was Yugi because of his ten o'clock curfew. Bakura snorted to himself.

"Curfew..Hah! What kind of teenager has a curfew?" Bakura stopped then to think. "Well…Malik does, but his is like, three in the morning, and Ryou does when his dad's around…but his dad's not around, so I guess he doesn't have a curfew. But he does, as nonexistent as it is.." Bakura continued to think for a while until he got a headache and stopped. "So, what was I doing? Oh yeah, finding Ryou…where could he BE? I haven't seen him all DAY! What it he was abduc…abducte…abduckie…abduc…ted…. by …er…Allen! Yeah, that one neighbor guy, Allen…" Bakura growled. "Or maybe it was Yugi..he's evil enough…Oh wait, that's Yami. Yugi's too preppy. Hmm, where is Ryou? Maybe he's in his room, though I doubt it…" Bakura tripped up the stairs and knocked on Ryou's door. No one answered, so he tried the handle. It wouldn't really move. So Bakura panicked.

"AAAGH! WHAT AM I GONNA DO? WHERE'S RYOU? I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEE!" Bakura fell over onto the floor in the fetal position and began to sob. Ryou opened the door and blinked sleepily at Bakura.

"What are you talking about?" Ryou asked, stifling a yawn. Bakura immediately launched himself onto Ryou and hugged him.

"I thought you got abduc…abducte…abduckie…kidnapped by that one guy! Oh, who is he…uh…I know him—ALLEN! Cause I couldn't find you! And then I had a party and Marik like sent everything to the shadow realm, but then Tea did friendship speeches until he brought them back and then Yugi went home and Me and Marik tried to kill the baka pharaoh but it didn't work and then he left and then Tea was all like 'Friends should stick together' and I sent her to the shadow realm and then Joey went crazy because Malik mentioned Serenity so we had to throw Joey out after he broke your coffee table and then we kinda threw Tristan off the roof so he's kinda not alive no mores and then like at one Malik left because Ishizu called and told him to come back home and then at three Marik left and so now I'm all alone and I MISSED YOU!" Bakura turned a pretty shade of purple from not breathing for so long and gasped for air. He buried his head in Ryou's shoulder. Ryou patted Bakura's back a little awkwardly and said, "I was sleeping."

"I couldn't open your door!" Bakura protested. Ryou sighed. "Because I didn't want you to open my door. It was locked. I'll show you how to lock something—oh wait, no I won't. Never mind. I think you need to go to bed." Ryou turned to go back into his room, but Bakura tugged on his hand. Ryou turned around resignedly and looked at him white-haired yami.

"Can I?" Bakura asked pleadingly. And he used the puppy eyes, which he'd been practicing. Ryou sighed, but smiled and nodded. "Come in."

And the door shut and locked behind them.

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Whoo! Let's all cheer for Hibiko's first fic!

Kib: Woo-hoo. -.-; And a cheer for implying stuff at the end. –wink nudge poke-

Hibiko: Kib, you have such a strange mind..But anyways..Review and I'll give you a cookie! –waves giant cookies- Now in mint, cool ranch, cheese and chocolate! Ahahahaha!

Feliz ano Nuevo!


	2. The Morning

Hibi: Wh00t! I got three reviews for my first chapter! Thanks guys, you rock! You really made my day! -falls over and worships reviewers- So I'm going to continue the fic!

Kib: oo Okay, before she starts singing praise songs. RUN AWAY!

Bakura: Yeah, run. She's posessed!

Ryou: That's not nice! Even if it is true...

Kib: Shaddup, both of yous. Oh crap, I'm sounding like Joey! NOOOO!

Hibi: Kib, you scare me..okay, Bakura, your turn for the disclaimer!

Bakura: -sighs- Okay..Hibi doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh and never will unless Kazuki Takahashi somehow recognizes her on national TV and decides to put her in his will and leaves her Yu-Gi-Oh. Otherwise, she don't.

Warning: Yaoi, but mildy. A little bit of lime, not really a lemon. Wow. Overuse of the word 'cause' ahead! And swearing too..

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"Spork" --Talking

'_Spork_'--Thinking

/Ryou to Bakura/

/Bakura to Ryou/

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**

**Sour Schuyler:** Thanks a ton, I am gonna continue it.

**Sarah the Slayer:** Yes, Bakura and Marik were sugar high. Ishizu gave Marik cotton candy to get him to shut up about flying lizards xD

**Ryou Lover 4325:** I totally agree, those fic are so cute! And Tristan really has no personality. Cause he sucks xD

* * *

Ryou woke up the next morning to see nothing but white.

"I'm BLIIIND!" he screamed, jumping out of bed and running in circles. Bakura woke up and yawned, stretching out. "Ryou, shut up," he said, flinging the Millenium Ring at his hikari. Ryou fell over when it hit him in the head and began to roll around on the floor. Bakura sweatdropped.

"Ryou, you aren't blind. My hair was in your face. Or your hair, I don't know and I don't care." Ryou sat up and looked at Bakura, whose left eye was fighting to stay open. His right eyelid had already dropped down to close.

"Oh, okay. So I'm not blind, and you're not dyslexic. Couldn't be better," the white-haired hikari said, grabbing his clothes from his closet. "Wait..Bakura...Why are you in my bed?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Because you let me, cause I asked, cause I was tired and bored, cause of the party, cause I wasn't dyslexic, cause you told me, cause my hair was in the beater of eggs, cause you came downstairs, cause I was screaming," Bakura stated matter-of-factly. Ryou processed this through his mind.

"Oh, I get it!" he exlcaimed. "WAIT! Bakura, why did you have a party? You know I told you you can't have parties without asking me! Or inviting me! How come you didn't invite me? Huh? That wasn't right Bakura, that's not what friends do! It's mean and rude and inconsiderate! If you're not nice and kind nobody will be your friend!" Bakura gave him the evil eye.

"You sound like Anzu." Bakura said suspiciously. Ryou cocked his head and shut off the tape recorder behind him. "That _was_ Anzu, Kura-chan. Kaiba recorded her once and tweaked it and let us have copies of it." Ryou waved the tape around aimlessly and it flew out of his hand, hitting Bakura in the eye with it's corner.

"Holy shit! I'm blind!" Bakura screamed. Ryou sweatdropped and backed out of the room and into his bathroom. He yelled an apology and then turned to his clothes, holding up the pants.

"Oh no..."

Some time later--

Bakura ambled out of Ryou's bedroom, wearing a hot pink eyepatch. Without bothering to knock, he flung open the bathroom door--

And stared.

Ryou was wearing a pair of tight black leather pants and a matching black tank top. A silver studded belt snaked about his waist, and a silver chain necklace dangled from his slender neck.

"Bakura! Uh..err..I.." Ryou stuttered, blushing as red as the ketchup they had eaten for dinner two nights ago. Bakura stalked forwards, his hands on his hips. Secretly hefelt Ryou looked sexy in his clothes, and that black leather totally suited him, but of course he wouldn't say anything. or would he?

"You look nice today, hikari," Bakura said, unusually gentle. Ryou blushed even harder, if that was possible. "Arigatou, Bakura," he said, looking at the floor.

"No need to thank me..thank yourself for choosing them." Bakura shrugged and stepped closer. Their faces were only inches apart and Ryou was the reddest red imaginable. Bakura wasn't even peachy-pink. Softly he pressd his lips to his hikari's and locked his arms around Ryou's waist. Ryou 'meep'ed but leaned into the kiss.

After a few moments the two broke away for air. Ryou wasn't nearly as red as he had been before, but still pretty pink. Nad now, so was Bakura. He had surprised himself by doing that; altough he had wanted to do that for a while, quite a long time in fact. Sure his hikari was pretty..cute..sexy..But he felt more than just lust when he looked at the quiet, cheerful British teen. Something throbbed in his heart whenever he looked at Ryou, whenever Ryou gave him that special smile reserved just for Bakura, when he laughed at something Bakura did, intentional or not.

What was that feeling?

* * *

Hibi: Ooooh! Bakura's in LOOOOOVE! Ahahaha..

Ryou: You KISSED me!

Bakura: -smirks- You can't say you didn't like it.

Ryou: -blushes- And if I did?

All: -stare at Ryou-

Kib: You scare me, Ry-chan. Anyways...HAHA! Bakura's in LOVE! -falls over from laughing too hard-

Hibi: -giggles- You are cute when you blush, Ryou. And Bakura looks cute blushing too!

Bakura: Are you coming on to my hikari? -growls-

Hibi: Nani? Are you implying that I like Ryou? Well, yeah I do, but still! I have a two year crush already!

Kib, Bakura, Ryou: Ooooh...Hibi's got a crush!

Will Bakura confess to liking Ryou? What does Ryou feel about all of this? Will Kib, 'Kura, and Ryou ever find out about Hibi's crush? Why do ask these questions? DO I know what I'm doing? Find out in the next chapter of Locked Doors!

(That means review, peoples. xP)


	3. The Morning CONTINUED!

Hibi: -whispers- Okay guys, you can't tell Ryou or Kib or Bakura where I'm hiding..they're gonna torture me! I knew I shouldn't have told them about my crush...

Kib: You admit it!

Hibi: AIIE! Kib! Shut the hell up! They're gonna find me! -grabs Kib and drags her away- Go do the disclaimer! Now!

Kib: Oh, fine. -glares at Hibi- Hibi, fortunately or unfortunately, however you look at it, doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, just her sad little plot.

Warnings: Yaoi, swearing. Crazy hikaris being chased by insane yamis!

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"Spork"--Talking 

_'Spork'_--Thinking

/Bakura to Ryou/

/Ryou to Bakura/

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"Bakura? Why did you do that?" Ryou asked his yami suddenly, looking up at him. Crimson-brown met chocolate, and in the end the hikari won. 

"Because..it was a..kinda...spur of the moment kinda thing. Y'know? But it was nice.." Bakura mumbled, blushing guiltily. _'Does he know I think I like him? Oh crap, I needto remember to shut off the mindlink before I start talking to myself..Damn..I get more like Ryou every day.'_ Bakura thought. He looked at Ryou, who merely smiled.

"Thanks, yami. You _do_ taste nice, you know." WIth a mischeivous twinkle in his eye, Ryou left the bathroom, leaving a slack-jawed and stunned Bakura behind. The white-haired teen skipped downstairs and into the kitchen, opening the cupboard and taking out the necessary ingredients for pancakes. Then he frowned_. 'Why do I make pancakes again?'_ Ryou asked himself. As he pondered this difficult question, Bakura used the mindlink.

/Hikari/

/Yes/

/Can we have pancakes/

/...Fine./

Ryou sighed_. That_ was why. Bakura was _so_ irresistable, and he probably didn't know it. But oh well, he was still undeniable. Ryou turned his focus to Friday. Three days from now, it was he and Bakura's anniversary (1). But instead of being sorry and remorseful that Bakura had most likely forgotten, he was counting on Bakura to forget. That was the only way anything would work.

So Ryou flipped the pancakes deftly with one hand, leaning over and pouring orange juice in to a cup with practiced ease. He set the pan of pancakes down and turned around, tripping over his shoelaces.

Fortunately Bakura picked this time to amble into the kichen. He smiffed the air, smelling pancakes, and was about to compliment Ryou when he noticed his hikari trip. Forgetting the slow-motion drama, he sprinted to Ryou and caught him by the waist. (2)

"Er..thanks, Bakura. The pancakes are ready," Ryou said after a silence. Bakura nodded, grinning ear-to-ear, and pulled Ryou upright. "Welcome." Ryou got to his feet steadily and reached up, getting the syrup down. He handed it to Bakura and turned his back on him, intending to give him the plate of pancakes, when something sticky and wet began to drip down the back of his shirt.

"Bakura! You just squirted syrup down my shirt!" Ryou screamed. He whirled around; Bakura was grinning devilishly. "Damn it!" Ryou shouted, tackling Bakura. He grabbed a pancake and fishslapped Bakura upside the head with it twice. His yami was still grinning as he rolled over and tickled Ryou.

"Nooo! Bakura! You--know--I'm--TICKLISH!" Ryou laughed, squirming fiercely. In between clutching his sides he managed to get his fingersup and against his yami's sides. Bakura broke out in hysteria as Ryou tickled him back.

"And you're extra ticklish!" Ryou exclaimed, using this as a distraction. He pitted his weight upwards and toppled Bakura over onto his back. "Say it!'

"Okay, okay! I--AM--TICKLISH!" Bakura screamed. Ryou elt go of his yami and rolled away. Bakura was chuckling still, his eyes half open. He rolled onto his side to face Ryou, smiling in what, had it been a different place and action, could have been very suggestive, said, "That was fun."

"We should do this more often," Ryou agreed, smiling.

* * *

Hibi: Did you like it? I hope you did..

Bakura: There she is! -tackles Hibi-

Ryou: Who's your crush?

Kib: TEEEEELLLL USSS!

Hibi: Fine, fine! It's this guy named Drew in my classwho sits in front of me.

Kib: HIM?

Hibi: Yes, him. Why?

Kib: Uh...no reason.

Bakura, Ryou, and Hibi: -turns to stare suspiciously at Kib-

Kib: What?

What's Kib hiding? Does she know something about 'Drew?' Will Ryou ever get the syrup out of his clothes? Will Bakura sustain mental injuries from being fishslapped with a pancake? Will you guys find out what happens next? Of course, weirdoes! Just read on!'

Review please!

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	4. Rapping, Star Wars Style!

Hibi: Argh! I'm soooooo sorry I haven't updated in so long! I'm horrible! -dissolves into a pool of shame and sobs-

Kib: o.O Uh..Hibi, people are wiating for you to do your thing.

Hibi: Oh, thankyou Kib. Now..onto reviewer replies!

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**Sour Schuyler:** Thanks for giving me reviews for all the chapters! Who know it would be so hard?

**lui nahtzi:** Someone not being able to compar with one of my fics? -hyperventilates- Oh my Ra! I need a camera..or a camcorder! Glad you're all for yaoi. xD

**AvengerRevengeVengeanceSisters:** Aww, thank you guys! And BTW, Drew's the guy I've had a crush on for like two years straight. (O.O Oh crap. I'm gonna be mobbed.)

**AnimeLoverAngel:** Thanks tons and bunches, I'm glad you like Ryou and Bakura together as well as I do. n.n

Thanks to all who reviewed!

* * *

Kib: Don't encourage her. DON'T encourage her, damn you! -shakes fist-

Hibi: Ah, yeah. Whatever. Now..

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, to my depression. But I DO own the Bazooka Cannon 3000 1/2! And Bastardly Bob! And the freaky rapping thug song that Bakura and Ryou sing.

On with the fic!

* * *

Ryou whistled to himself as he twirled in circles. Yes, it was pretty early to be whistling and twirling on the sidewalk in front of your house, but to hell with that! It was time for action! It was time for adventure! It was time for--

"Get outta da road, ya damn hippy!"

It was time for Ryou to get out of the middle of the road. Which he had so carelessly twirled into. And there was this giant van with peace signs on it careening straight for him. And a guy who had really long brown hair that was caught in one of the spinning tires and was saying 'Owichihiha!' every other three seconds and looked generally like a 'damn hippy' himself was sticking his hippy-looking head out of the window. So naturally Ryou did what anyone else would have done!

The insane white-haired hikari turned around and shot a giant NUCLEAR BOMB CANNON BALL THINGY at the hippy guy's truck. The hippy guy Who, coincidentally, was 36 years old, had naturally orange hair, potato shaped eyes, was wearing a wig, and was named Bastardly Bob. As opposed to Dastardly Dan. And Bastardly Bob (AN: Bastardly Bob is hard to type! You try it!) hada wife, a granny, a granpy, a cousin, aunts uncles sisters brothers sons daughtersfathers mothers grandkids granddogs and OF COURSE a third cousin twice removed on his great uncle's side named Little Billy Bob even though he was 76 AND three quarters year old. Bastardly Bob had worked at a mustard factory putting mustard into those little bitty inch and a half packets when one squirted him in the eye! That bastardly (AN: BASTARDLY! HAHAHA! -falls over laughing-) mustardpacket! So Bastardly Bob called the mustardpacket abastard and blew it upwith a bazooka cannon 3000 1/2! And then everyone ran away and called Bastardly Bob, well, Bastardly Bob! And that is why he is an outcast that lives at the bottom of the food chain in Anvil, Colorado. Which still doesn't explain why he was in Domino, because he was on vacation! screamed and exploded as he ran over the bomb, blowing him sky high and setting the bus thing on fire, effectively burning him to a crisp. And that was the end of Bastardly Bob.

Ryou cackled evilly before Bakura screamed from an upstairs window, "You killed Bastardly Bob! I was gonna do that! Damn it all to hell, hikari!" Bakura stuck his head back into the house and Ryou came in, coughing with suppressed laughter but coughing all the same. Bakura glared at Ryou, who quailed, smiling sheepishly.

"He tried to run me over!" Ryou cried in self defense. Bakura started to laugh.

And laugh.

And laugh some more.

And laugh again.

Finally Ryou had had enough of being laughed at. He burst out in tears. "Why are you laughing at me? All I did was become a mental teenager with problems and join the dark side to have my own son supposedly kill me! And then I becamethe most evil guy in the universe and everyone fears me and my army of droids because I'm evil! My light saber changed from blue to red even though my favorite color is magenta! People shiver at the mention of my name! I'm anorexicand I have a weird accent and I don'tlook good in purple anymore!Por que? POR QUE!"

"You don't be down wit' yaself, Homie-R. Ya be down wit' datmah main man Vaderthug from be-YOND da starrrrrz!" Bakura said, magically dressed like a thug with a weird accent.

"Wat you be talkin' 'bout, yo? I be Ryou Bakura from be-YOND da st-AARRRZZZ! Mah rapp-ay thuggin' arm-ay be around here somewhere! Now get down in da hizz-owzz!" Ryou said. He was magically dressed like a thug too (AN: Authoress power number 53: Authoress can make characters turn into thug rappers anytime they wish. Read em and weep!) and grabbed a microphone out of nowhere. The set changed to nightclub with a bunch of rappity-rapping fans. Bakura sang:

_"I be Darth Vader_

_I got no later_

_To be more eviller than I already izzzz,_

_With mah rappin' droids_

_Gonna make some noise_

_Defeat the Pharaoh and all that shizzzz!"_

Ryou cut in as Bakura started to breakdance to loud cheers.

_"Ya all be doomed_

_When I be on da move_

_Tellin' dat bitch to stop dat friendship bizzz,_

_Gonna destroy a giant city_

_Wit' mah natural ability_

_Defeat the Pharaoh and all that shizzzz!"_

Bakura stopped breakdancing and the two started to kick it to the last verse.

_"Causeda rapperDarth Vader_

_Ain't no alien invader_

_Da guy who makes the world go fizzzz,_

_Gonna kick their asses_

_Into the Coruscant 1 grasses_

_Defeat the Pharaoh and all that shizzzz!_

_Defeat the Pharaoh and all that shizzzz!"_

They struck a back-to-back pose and were immediately surrounded by a fan-proof Glomprotector 3450 3/95867, which repelled the glomps of the fans. The set changed back into their home and they went back into the clothes they were wearing before the authoress changed them.

"Whoa. That was weird." Ryou said, blinking kawaiily. Bakura stretched catlikely 1 and said, "Weird is an understatement."

The two looked at each other for a moment, blinking at the exact same time, before saying, "Let's go back to bed."

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1: Coruscant is a planet in STar Wars Battlefield, a game that my brothers will play for hours straight. And I mean, straight! Hahaha..

Hibi: Sorry about the short chapter thingy. I couldn't write anymore because of...Bastardly Bob! -falls over laughing- HAHAHAHA!

Kib: -giggles- I couldn't help it either! Whenever she typed 'Bastardly Bob' we would both laugh!

Hibi: Yeah, we did. It was hard, cause my brother kept asking me what I was laughing about. But anyways, I wrote that song, and I have titled it 'Defeat the Pharaoh!' Or course I couldn't call it 'Shizz', cause then the non-cussers would have my ass! Or my head, either way XDD

Kib: Bastardly Bob...AHAHAHAHAHA! -chokes while laughing-

laughs- R-re-review! HAHA! -falls over laughing and effectively KO's herself-


	5. Cheeze Nips

Hibiko: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! My computer wouldn't let me log on to don't it? Ah well. Thanks for the reviews guys! And I swear to Ra if ANYONE says Bastardly Bob to meI will _explode_ laughing..Ha.

Kib: Bastardly Bob.

Hibiko: N-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...-chokes-

Ryou: I think you killed her, Kib...

Bakura: Who cares? She wasn't that important anyway.

Kib: -Mega-Major-Super-Ultimate Death Glare- Burninate you!

Hibiko: -who is no longer unconscious- o.O

Ryou: o.O

Bakura: You scare me.

Hibiko: ANYWAYZZZZ..Yeah. Right. Whatever. YO WHAT, FOO'!

* * *

Sour Schuyler: Aww, thanks. Eh, I liked the rapping song too..I didn't think anyone else would, though XD WHoo, go number one supporter! 

Jazhira: RAPPING RYOU! Wow, I should have Bakura make that Ryou's new nickname xD And no, I don't think this story has a plot... HOORAY FOR RANDOMNESS!

* * *

"Uh..yeah. Okay." 

Bakura stared.

"Riiiight."

Bakura stared some more.

"Ano..Bakura, can you stop staring at me?"

Still staring.

"STOP STARING AT ME, DAMMIT!" Ryou screamed. Bakura snapped out of his 'must-stare-at-Ryou' trance and fell over backwards.

"Did you hear meeee? We're going to the carnival!" Ryou said, grinning like a lunatic and bouncing up and down.

"Are you high?" Bakura asked, noting the lunatic-like grinning and the bouncing, not to mention the fact that every time Ryou bounced he would scream 'WHEEEEEE' and stop when he touched the ground.

"Nope! I be's hypah!" Ryou said excitedly. Bakura stretched his neck to see past Ryou and paled. His hikari had eaten a whole bag of pure sugar! And a couple boxes of chocolate, two pounds of pixy sticks, and had flung chewed bubblegum everywhere, but that was beside the point.

"O-kay. We'll go to the..carnival. " Bakura stood up cautiously; any sudden movements might set him off. But apparently Bakura had moved too fast, because Ryou grabbed his yami by the hair and dragged him up the stairs, into his bedroom. There he dropped Bakura, who was nursing his scalp, and rifled through a box he had pulled from under his bed. He grinned widely and pulled a black fuzzy headband out of the box. Not only was it fuzzy, but it had fuzzy CAT EARS on it! Ryou was (obviously) oblivious to Bakura's appallation (1) as he stuck the cat-eared headband on Bakura's head. Bakura tugged at it, but it didn't budge. And boy, did he try to get it off! Bakura even suggested going as far as cutting of his hair to remove it, but that offended the hair in question and he decided not to. During that debateful time, Ryou had taken the opportunity to stick ( aka tape ) a fuzzy black cat tail to Bakura's pants, and when the yami noticed it he couldn't get that off, either. Ryou pulled out a tube of black lipstick from god-knows-where and started to draw whiskers on Bakura's face.

"What..the fuck...are you DOING TO MEEEE?" Bakura screamed. He ran into the bathroom, Ryou on his heels, and stared. The result of Ryou's hyperfication was a thoroughly kittified Bakura, who actually looked kinda cute.

"Gettin' you ready to go to the carnival!" Ryou chirped cheerfully. Bakura snorted.

"Not like this, I'm not!" He said. Ryou frowned, his bottom lip quivering. _'Oh no..not that! Anything but that! SAVE MEEE!'_ Bakura thought in horror. Since Ryou couldn't read minds, he proceded with an all-out, full blown, pouting renedition of the chibi eyes. The yami nearly screamed in horror.

"P-P-please, 'Kura-chan?" Ryou asked in a quivery voice. Bakura sighed, giving up the struggle. It was impossible to resist the overly-cute hikari, and EVERYONE knew it. Even the midget Pharaoh's hikari, and the Pharaoh himself!

"Oh..fine..I guess. Just..don't do that." Bakura said defeatedly. Instantly Ryou perked up, smiling happily and nearly skipping out the door. "Arigatou, Baku-chan!" He called merrily. Bakura followed, trudging along resignedly. Baku-chan_? Where did that come from?'_

"Oh, you know you look good! No one will tease you, promise! At least not without INCURRING MY WRATH! MWAHAHAHA!" Ryou said rather loudly. He gave Bakura a hug and pulled him out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. The two ran (Well, Ryou ran and Bakura was dragged at a run) to the carnival, which was incredibly loud, big, bright, noisy, and other various synonyms of those words. At the entrance they met The gang.

"Hi, guys!" Ryou said, waving. Yami clapped a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stop the laughs. Bakura pouted, crossing his arms but following Ryou just the same.

"Look what the hikari dragged in," Marik commented, his violet eyes sparkling with laughter. Bakura snapped at him, growling. "Bite me," he said darkly.

"Maybe I will," Marik returned haughtily. Everyone stared and Ryoudragged Bakura just a _little_ farther from Marik. Malik slapped Marik various times, ending the tirade with a sharp kick where the sun don't shine. Marik screamed and keeled over as if dead. Bakura snickered.

"Hi, Baku-neko," Yami giggled from behind his hands. Bakura shot him a death glare, his hands twitching to strangle Yami.

"Don't be mean, Yami." Ryou warned him, twitching slightly. Yugi grinned.

"Besides, you look like a kitty too, Yami," he said, gesturing to the gold cat ears and tail. Yami frowned. "Least I don't look retarded," he muttered. Ryou swung around, glaring at him. "I mean, you look fine."

"Okay then..let's go! The carnival awaits us!" Joey said with obvious enthusiasm, and led the others inside.

* * *

1- I don't think apallation is a word, but to hell with that! 

Hibiko: Whee! I finished the chapter! Finally..but it only took me an hour. Haha.

Kib: You're weird.

Ryou: I hafta agree on this one..you are weird, Hibiko.

Hibiko: Oh, fine. Hey, Kib, what was that about Drew that you mentioned earlier?

Review to find out!


End file.
